Similar Topics

[Lizardbits]

Not sure if anyone remembers this crack I wrote months ago, but it's gather dust on my computer so I figured I might as well post it for the lulz. IT'S CRACK. Take it with a grain of salt.


-------

She was kneeling there at the altar, head bowed down and eyes closed in complete concentration. Watching her there, all innocent and pure triggered something inside of Cloud- he couldn’t describe what- and it was that feeling that made him step forward toward her.

He reached behind his back, drawing his weapon without really thinking about what he was doing, he raised it above his head in an attempt to strike her. He heard the shouts of his comrades behind him- Tifa’s voice suspiciously missing from the chorus of pleas- begging him not to hurt her.

“Sephiroth ain’t here, you spiky headed idiot!” Barret’s voice was the loudest of all, which was to be expected from the obnoxious man. “So don’t listen to ‘im!”

Finally gaining control of himself, Cloud let out a resigned sigh as he stepped away from her and down the steps of the altar. Aerith looked up at him briefly, smiling sweetly, innocently, before closing her eyes once again and continuing her prayer.

If she had continued to look at him, she would have seen the mischievous, sinister grin on Cloud’s face.

He shook his head, stifling a cackle. His friends were all idiots. This had nothing to do with Sephiroth.

“You’re lucky your freaky Ancient powers are useful to me,” Cloud though to himself. “Once this is all over, I’m going to kill you for sleeping with my boyfriend!”


-------

Seconds later, a figure in black fell from the sky, surrounded by wisps of silver hair. In the time it took Cloud to blink, Sephiroth had sunken his blade through Aerith’s stomach, an evil smirk upon his face. Cloud winced and clutched his head as Sephiroth’s thoughts flooded his own.

“This is what you get,” Sephiroth’s voiced echoed in Cloud’s mind, “For sleeping with our beloved Zack. ”

Unbeknownst to the rest of AVALANCHE, Cloud and Sephiroth shared a smile, before the gears in Cloud’s head started turning and an awful thought crossed his mind.

“Seph,” Cloud began, hoping that his voice sounded as icy in Sephiroth’s mind as it did in his own, “You do realize that by killing her, you’ve just sent her to the Lifestream.”

A nod.

“With Zack.”

Green eyes widened in realization, gazing at the corpse still impaled by his blade, before pulling it out quickly and jumping away from her as she hit the ground.

“Oops?[i]” Sephiroth offered with an apologetic smile- the closest thing Cloud would get to an apology.

“[i]I’m going to kick your ass.”

This was when Cloud’s journey truly began; a quest to find Sephiroth, wherever he may be on the planet, and lay the smack down on him for messing everything up.


------

Zack watched in amusement from the Lifestream as his two lovers fought over him like children, laughing hysterically on the floor, legs flailing. His merriment was cut short however, by the sight of Aerith standing over him, none-too-pleased.

Zack winced, stood up slowly, and gave her a lopsided grin.

“Uhh… Sorry?”



…The End!

[Quiet]

Liz, have I mentioned lately how much I love you?

Omg, I remember this and it's STILL hilarious!! XDDDDDDD

[The OptimisticPe...]

In other words, they nearly brought the Planet to an end because of Zack? <shakes head> So Zack really is the cause of it all then?